Family pictures

November 30, a beautiful, crisp November morning, Scott and I had family pictures taken. I was so excited that I was finally starting to look pregnant. It was so weird for me to have my midsection growing and not be bothered by it. I loved it and tried to embrace each change, as I knew it meant that our little one inside of me was growing. Little did I know that the next morning I'd find the first signs of pre-term labor and the morning after that I'd be admitted into the hospital with very little hope that I'd walk out of there with a baby.

While in the hospital I thought about these pictures a lot. At first I was upset and didn't want to see them, as they'd be a reminder of this tragedy. By the time I left the hospital, empty armed,  I wanted them, because they would be the only official family pictures we'd have with Adam. Another tender mercy from a loving Heavenly Father.

I look at these and see so much hope, happiness and excitement. I try to remember that time. I hope we can find that hope and happiness again one day. I know it will be hard since every pregnancy I have from here on out will be high risk but we will try to have faith.

I'm super grateful to have these. We will cherish them.